Did you know that people spend an estimated $30 billion a year on all types of weight loss diet programs and products, including diet foods and drinks? Well no more! Welcome to the most amazing and effective natural weight loss solution at the lowest price EVER! What, pray tell, am I talking about? Well, step right up and learn all about the new :
That's right my friends, The Spartan Diet. Yes, oh yes, we will scare you into the best shape of your life. All it takes is one meeting with our highly motivating personal trainer Leo and you'll be doing sword thrusts in your sleep. I'm sure you're asking yourself "But self, how is this going to work for me when I've tried everything with no results?" It's simple. We begin by testing your fear levels to place you on a regimen tailored to your individual needs with all of your health concerns in mind!
What are fear levels and how do you determine them?
We base these levels on just how horrified you are by men charging you with swords and shields in hand. We test how fast you run, how rapidly your heart rate increases and whether you are breathing normally or on the verge of an asthmatic collapse.
If you pass our testing, you are ready to sign on with coach Leo. Exercise is important in any weight loss program especially if you want to lose the weight permanently. It doesn't matter if you've never had a personal trainer before, or even if you've never worked out in your life! Our certified Spartan professional will come right to your doorstep with all of the equipment you need to reach your health and fitness goals.
So how will Leo motivate me to work my butt off?
We understand that it is intimidating to go to a large health club on your own and attempt to reach your fitness goals which is why many people prefer one on one personal interaction with a trainer. Leo is THE man for the job. His techniques are even more intimidating than some silly old gym, which leads to quicker results! He has gained a great deal of fame for his ability to make you less hungry by scaring you nauseous, which in turn allows you to easily consume less calories and lose weight!
What sort of exercises should I expect to be partaking in?
You will be introduced to a wide range of exercises and fitness equipment. Leo will work with you to see which form of exercise you excel in to get the greatest results for you as an individual.
This program sounds like it's for me. Are there any programs available for children?
Absolutely. Be sure to take a look at our Spartan Tykes fitness plans. For further information on any and all programs, please contact us at 1-800-HAA-OOOH!
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