Poor Gerard Butler. The man's making a name for himself yet no one can pronounce it. Is it any wonder he wishes to be called Gerry? Well no more! Scottishly speaking challenged fans all over the world, fear not. There is help for you. Except in Scotland since they obviously know how to pronounce Gerard properly and most likely make fun of our pansy-assed efforts on a regular basis.
So, here's what you need to do. Get help. Buy a book. Learn people, learn!
Welcome to Pronouncing "Gerard" for Dummies, the answer to all your problems. Not only will it teach you how to say his name properly, but as a bonus you'll learn some other neat stuff along the way. To give you an overview of what's in the book...would be very ill advised. Stop looking for shortcuts. Cheater.
What Gerry knows and what this book wants you to know:
His name is "GER - ard" and you don't say it right.
So welcome to a book that will have you saying his name as smoothly as a Ken doll's privates. Now what if you thought to yourself "But self, I don't speak Scottish!" Well, then you're a dimwit. If you're unclear as to why, sit and ponder this bright theory of yours or save yourself some time and ask someone smart. Then come back and continue reading. I'll wait. Pfft.
This book is split into 3 parts:
Part 1 - Obtaining and maintaining a happy and healthy accent
Sounds difficult? Well it is. But if by some chance you are lucky enough to pick up on how to imitate a Scottish brogue, go for it. The best place to test the verbalization of your words is in Scotland. This book will provide you with wonderful examples of possible transcriptions in order to make the transition from "sucky, boring, non-accenty" you to "awesome Scotswoman wannabe but never will be" you!
Part 2- Pronouncing "Gerard" properly with your new accent
This is where it gets tricky and a large part of the book involves working on getting his name just right. Much of it demands repetition (it helps if you're watching one of his movies - except Harrison's Flowers - three crappy minutes isn't enough time to get this down pat). And for those really verbally challenged people, there are some extra words thrown in this section for everyday use. For example:
Ask is not pronounced "ax" (as in a tool used to chop wood, you ninny) - Incorrect pronunciation of this word gives a whole new meaning to "Go ask your father."
Library, not pronounced "libary" people. - Actual library facilities should be silent, not the letter "r" in the word library.
Nuclear, not pronounced "nucular" - ::cough:: George W. Bush ::cough::
3- Accent extras
Now that you've gone over the biggest hurdle of this book, you'll be treated to learning some other fun accents along the way just for shits and giggles. You can learn how to speak:
a- Londonish with a hint of cockney.
b- Fairly posh with a touch of southern English.
c- Non-posh London pronunciation, with Northern/Irish intonation for complaining to people (stops one from sounding like a posh bitch).
d- Full on Scottish for swearing at yobs in the street.
e- Or even American trying to sound British when you should be trying to sound Scottish.
In conclusion, practice practice practice and stay strong sista! Let's all make The Gerry proud! |
