As GBOCD'ers, we are interested in acquiring as much information as possible about The Gerry aren't we? But at what cost? Yesterday I innocently checked my inbox for the usual battery of fanmail, chain letters, and nonstop spam that inconveniently rears its ugly head more times than my Aunt Joanne does, and to my horror, I found the worst piece of Gerry news I NEVER wanted to hear in my life.
It would appear that some hooligan has claimed that The Gerry has been violated in the worst way possible. Up the butt. And by Madonna. I'm not really sure which I find worse...the butt part or the Madonna part. Toss up.
According to Now Magazine, a ... ahem... reliable source:
Nurse Madge, 49, has been dishing out vitamin B12 jabs on RocknRolla after a spate of illnesses on set.
Guy, 38, had earlier complained to her that everyone was taking sick days.
'She does it for her dancers, she's trained doing it, so she decided to do it for the actors as well,' actor Tom Hardy, 29, tells the Daily Mirror.
'I had the shock of my life. There she was in the back of her Range Rover administering a shot of B12 into the arse of Gerard Butler.'
Now what sort of tomfoolery is this? Honestly isn't it bad enough that she's been administering god awful music to the public for years? Or that she Kabalas all over the place with her fake British accent and Farrah Fawcett feathery fake blonde hair? Or that she thinks the name Madge is cooler than the name Madonna? I mean hasn't she had enough ass in her life? But noooooo....now, NOW, she had to go and taint The Gerry's tender tush? What is this blasted world coming to when we can allow such atrocities to occur? It's madness I tell you! Sheer and utter madness and I for one am appalled!
Clearly he was a victim. He couldn't possibly have known what fate had in store for him. He was in a sickly state. Weak. Vulnerable. Meekly sitting in the back of her Range Rover assuming she might perhaps be extending him an invitation to hear her latest single "B4 B12" thus giving Madonna the chance to Express Herself all over the place. Poor poor Gerry. Poor poor Gerry's tushy. Poor poor fans of Gerry's tushy.
I leave you with this thought. Where are we as a society when we have people like Madonna administering B12 shots up a hot man's bum when he could easily have purchased one of these:
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