What are FAQ's?
Freakin' annoying queries which I hate answering.
Who is this Gerard Butler you speak of?
Please leave.
How tall is Gerard?
Oh he’s about yay high.
Do you know Gerard personally?
Oh pffft, suuuuure. We go way back. We were born two years apart (Coincidence? I think not) . He’s a winter baby, I’m a summer baby. He’s Scottish, I’m Italian. He’s rich, I’m poor (his fault since I’m always spending money on his films and additional merchandise-oh how we laugh and laugh about that) . We have sooooooooo very much in common. Best Friends 4-EVA!
Where does Gerard live?
In all our hearts. Sniff, sniff. Nah, just kidding. In my basement. He’s been renting until he can hit the big times.
Where I can I write to Gerard?
Anywhere. On a desk. At your kitchen counter. At the stern of a boat. If you’re really daring, try the bow.
How old is he?
Old enough to know better than to visit this place, let me tell you.
Do you write all your material?
No. There are these little elves that prepare it all for me while I sleep on a bed of feathered pillows floating on a cloud. It's the truth. I SWEAR! WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?
What is the meaning of life?
I don’t have a life. Thus the creation of this site.
Where are my car keys.
Check the freezer. If you'd just clean your house, this wouldn't even be an issue.
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