Gerard Butler OCD.com

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You poor thing, you. You know something is wrong but you're not quite sure what it is.

Fear not, sicko.

This page will entail a list of symptoms related to Gerard Butler Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (boy, that's a mouthful isn't it?)
so that we can take steps to get you the proper treatment. There, there.

You've come down with a severe case of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome due to the insane amount of "right clicking and saving" you do on a regular basis downloading any and all Gerard Butler photos. People, if you're going to share the wealth, could you at least do it in the form of a zip file?

Your eyesight is slowly diminishing due to all the time you spend in front of the computer ogling any and all Gerard photos when you should actually be working (or cleaning your house?).

You buy, not one, not two, but ten copies of whichever magazine he's appearing in next.

You have a fireproof lockbox with double copies of all his films and magazines just in case your disorderly house burns down - never mind that your husband is still asleep and the cats are somewhere in the basement - so the first thing you can do when you get out of the house is hand it to the firefighters for safekeeping.

You've watched "300" so many times, your 3 year old runs around with his baseball bat screaming, "This. Is. Spartaaaaaaa!!!!!" and your 8 year old has the best abs in the third grade. Not that you've let them watch the film, of course. You watch it for them. Oh, the sacrifices we must make for our children...

You kindly urge others to go see his films. When they don't , you not so kindly urge them again, followed with a smidgen of begging, and a rousing dose of pleading. When these efforts fail, coercing and finally kidnapping until they "get it" usually works.

Your heart rate is somewhere around 300 (Haha get it? 300. Hahahah)

Do you find yourself compelled to scream on the top of your lungs (in a silent movie theater, mind you) "OHMIGOD! You bloody gorgeous bastard!!" while watching him during a kissing scene or a shot that Gerard would deem "gratuitous".

You begin speaking with a Scottish burr, wear about 30 bangles on your wrist, and hell, you even smoke the occasional fag when normally you'd never do so.

You tell your husband/boyfriend/special other that they'd look particularly smashing sporting a kilt and brandishing a sword around the house.

Do you suffer from one or more of the following symptoms?

If you've said yes to one or more of the above...you're in big trouble. The best kind.

"Smoke the occasional fag" does not mean that you're putting out hits on homosexuals. The term "fag" in this instance refers to cigarettes, you big silly.

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